The Total Eclipse of a Poem

Ten years ago, I wrote a short, three-stanza poem titled “Serenity and Serendipity.” Today, its reading is obscure to me, thus, I am undecided about my opinion of it. Nevertheless, in honor of April’s National Poetry Month and the recent total solar eclipse, I challenged myself to revamp the original into longer, lunar lyrics.

After several hours of editing, I finished a newer version with results that left me somewhat satisfied, yet, marginally pleased considering the piece, like its parent, may also be perplexing. During the process, however, I had fun, and since the purpose of trying something different and demanding is to gain pleasure and gratification, I consider “The Evolution of She” a success. Plus, while researching, I learned further information about the moon phases and discovered two quotes from two literary maestros who composed centuries ago.

The Evolution of She

In the bleak shadow of the new moon

she holds a phantom notion

a fear of the unknown

that to be reborn

dares failure

Fighting doubt with waxing, restive resolve

her intentions a fragmented mess

she nevertheless invites light

bending to the idea

of a beam

Halfway there, halfway home to truth

she weaves a tapestry of solace

creating calm that interlaces

her jumbled thoughts

with serenity

Mindful of her ripening illumination

she embraces metamorphosis

puffing the core of her curve

to counter any eclipse

of her passage

As time passes, the infinite elliptical path

embroiders her an ornate narrative

of unexpected knowledge

resilience and beauty

ah…serendipity!

No, ‘twas providence

that emblazoned her shine

“my powers are crescent and

 hope has come to fulfillment,” says she

“for I have grasped the lunar bull by the horns.”

Notes worth noting:

The first five (of eight) phases of the moon: new moon…waxing crescent…half moon…waxing gibbous…full moon

“My powers are crescent, and my auguring hope says it will come to th’ full.” —  Pompey in Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra

“who grasps the struggling heifer’s lunar horns.” — last line of Alexander Pope’s The First Book Of Statius’s Thebais.

For your convenience, confusion, and comparison, here is the original version of the poem I mentioned above:

Serenity and Serendipity

Resting upon a crescent moon

she weaves a tapestry of solace

Calm interlaces her inmost thoughts

illuminating serenity

Meanwhile a solstice of the north

embroiders her an ornate tale

of unexpected fortune and special favors

ah…serendipity!

Lunar curve eclipses high noon

threading freedom by accident

Surreal harmony and placid wonder

form a union of serens

_{“When I look at your heavens, the moon and the stars,}

_{which you set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him?”}

_{(Psalm 8:3-4)}