Random Thoughts to Think and Smile About

# 1. What would happen if I walked shoeless into a diner and chose a seat at the bar? Unless he spotted me walking in, the bartender would be indifferent. But…

…would a fellow patron spot my naked feet and rat on me?

…would a server notice and report me to the manager?

…how long would it take for someone to notice and what would their reaction be?

What would your reaction be?

#2. Did Jesus snore?

#3. Why don’t men with beer bellies walk around wincing and holding their lower backs with their hands like pregnant women do when they are in their third trimesters? Is it because moms eventually deflate but men develop strong back muscles from carrying those barrels for years?

#4. If Pope Francis, Barbara Brown Taylor, and Rev. Jesse Jackson shared a meal together, which one would say grace?

#5. If God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit popped in for brunch after church on Sunday, which one would you serve first? Or would you only need one plate?

#6. Quickly name the Beatles….

Did you recite, in this order, “John, Paul, George, and Ringo?”

How did it happen that majority of us list them like this? Why not Ringo, Paul, George, and John? Or alphabetically: George, John, Paul, and Ringo?

#7. If a clownfish develops excess air between its gills and its gill covers, does that mean the aquatic vet will find Nemothorax?

#8. If devil, devious, and devalue all begin with “dev,” why do devout, devote, and develop also start that way?

#9. Homophone Horrors:

If you accidentally drank a bottle of fabric dye, would you die of embarrassment?

If your nemesis fails to heal from an injury, would you kick up your heels?

Which is better — jogging because it is good for the soul, or not jogging in inclement weather because it is good for your soles?