January Musings
January is a month that starts with a BANG. Whether asleep at midnight or awake to hear fireworks and good cheer, the first day of each new year is a chance for a fresh beginning. Regardless of any traditional resolutions we make, January is an opportunity to let go of the past year and begin again, a time to transform and rebuild.
Halfway through the first month of the Gregorian calendar, I find myself entertaining a jumble of thoughts, most of which are about what is ahead in the months to come. Is there something to anticipate or is anything out of the ordinary going to happen this year? Will there be a decision that reinvents my life, or an event that shatters the world?
A few days after Christmas, but before the start of the new year, I began feeling blue. I composed a poem expressing my feelings and almost posted it but decided instead to “soldier on in gratitude” like the first line of the poem’s last stanza. I was too proud and embarrassed to share how sad I felt that day, yet I am pleased to say that I have emerged from despondency with renewed appreciation for my blessings.
In chance readings and meditations, I have read since my post-Christmas glumness, I came across Bible verses, sentences, phrases, and even words that have helped me reboot. My favorite finds were two poems by Joyce Rupp titled “The Hungry Lion” and “Fly” from her book Fly While You Still Have Wings. The title of the book alone is enough to induce pleasurable spirits!
One meditation reminded me that God does not become angry when I refuse his comfort but cares enough to meet me in my pain, and another invited me to jump into the arms of Jesus. I also came across a quote from Therese of Lisieux, in which she mentions that little children please their parents just as much when they are asleep as when they are awake, her point being that our Heavenly Father loves us even as we sleep. This made me smile, especially when I considered that my morning breath and grogginess must not bother God.
Since my findings, I have been trying more frequently to seek Christ and find him everywhere, in all my surroundings and experiences, in others, and in myself. Though it has taken me a few extra days, I have decided on my New Year resolution: to trust that God will teach me his paths and guide me as I wander through this new year. May Psalm 25 be on my lips as I sing, “To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.”